it was weeks prior to your leaving, i had a strange dream. i was standing on the roof of a castle, when i looked out, instead of the usually familiar sight of different houses, i saw a vast red sea and a curious moon passing across the similarly red sky. the moon stopped for a moment, like in a rendezvous, waiting to be swallowed by an eclipse. but instead of a black shadow overcasting him, the moon did not disappear but instead turned red as well.
when i woke up from the strange dream, i tried hard to give meaning. i know dreams usually don't make sense but i was afraid something terrible might happen. while awake, i try to recall, during the dream i felt calmness. i was not afraid. i just welcomed it.
***
it was almost a decade ago when i first saw you. my heart skipped a beat, but my mind was telling me i knew better. we are from separate worlds. what illusion that might play in my head will just stay as it is. an imagination.
i need to protect myself. go back to the castle and never trust anyone.
***
dear ninja,
you never really tried to disguise who you really are. you are the kind who would not need a mask to cover up because you are a natural. you were born with that worldly beauty that effortlessly hides the unexplainable trait of a soul that words cannot describe.
it was just one night. when you let me know who you really are, i cannot say i was at peace. i just want to close my eyes and for that moment let the surge of your waves take me, drown me into the abyss i was so afraid of all my life. for when you take me and engulf me, even though there might not be eternal stillness, i knew i was not afraid. i knew you, and i am not alone.
***
to the man who will not be named,
i am an empress. i have built these walls high and mighty to protect me. but i never knew these walls cannot protect me from myself. i was sad and lonely.
one night you came, asking for my help, someone to talk to, someone to listen. you are actually asking me to lend an ear. back then i wondered how you were able to break down those walls and now i realized, "of course, you are a ninja." you climbed them.
how can it be that you were able to change my mind about you? you changed the course of the tides, you came at the time when all of my guards were down.
***
it was a full moon when you left. gone forever.
but unlike every other man from my past, you did not leave by taking my heart. you left an imprint.
in my head, under a full moon on a distant parallel universe, there are no seas or walls between us. in my head, there is a night shared that lasts forever.
you are the only man i knew who could understand me. in my head, i will keep on repeating every single sound you have made. even though the words of love are not meant for me, that night i loved you and you have loved me.
you are the moon, i am the sea.
***
to my found and lost soulmate-on-a-distant-parallel-universe -----------,
i will be waiting.
