Dear _________,
First of all, I wanna clear things up...as much as I want to address you by your real name, I can't. Not just because I want to hide your true identity from public but also because I want my readers to think I'm creative not just inventive--parang Carrie Bradshaw...may 'Mr. Big.' Ako naman merong 'Andoy' at merong 'Pacquing.' Sa'yo, wala pa 'kong naiisip.
There are so many things I wanna say, so many things running through my head. Andami-daming gustong sabihin, 'di ko alam pa'no sisimulan or kung paano ko tatahi-tahiin para hindi lang ako ang makakaintindi.
I guess the hardest part of telling a story is when you, the storyteller, are also confused kung nasaang part ka na ba ng kwento.
***
I am writing you these letters not just to remind you of what has been, how we were together or what we-were-supposed-to-be-but-kept-unspoken. I almost literally lived my life for the past year on a highway, so much has happened halos hindi ko na namalayan how you entered my life and now, how you seemingly left so 'unnoticed.' I am writing you these letters because I needed to remind myself...remind myself of, hindi ko pa alam, undecided. Everything is in a blur, I need something clear, something tangible.
Basta ang alam ko lang, gusto kong maalala, gusto kong may maalala. Sabi ng utak ko, "para saan pa?" Sabi ng puso ko, "dapat mong gawin." Kesehodang at the end of this process, umasa pa ako, mag-hold on or mag-let go, basta ang gusto ko, may maiwan sa aking alaala na kahit mawala ka na, alam ko yung mga eksaktong araw na ito sa buhay ko, nag-exist ako sa mundo.
***
Para po sa kaalaman ng mga nakiki-usyoso sa sulat ko, iniwan po niya ako.
***
TO BE CONTINUED
