cluttered

so it's a Monday, and Mondays are like my every-normal-people's Sunday. here I am, wearing my glasses which i rarely wear kasi tamad ako (and i don't like wearing contact lenses kasi nga...)

walang magawa and dapat (pwersahan na ito) walang gawin. i deserve to rest and i have just been eating the whole day. kaya naman kusang-loob din na nagkakasakit ako, feverish na may slight panghihina, tuwing Monday para siguro matiyak ng katawan kong hindi ako lalabas or hindi ako magta-trabaho (included ang pag-attend ng meeting, thank you).

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anyway, i posted this picture to show my bundok ng basura sa aking kwarto. i am not too proud of my room kasi minana ko lang ito sa mga magulang ko, hehehe. walang choice, nagkatamaran nang pagandahin! besides, in less than two years i am moving to MY OWN condo, heehee, pak na pak! so magkakaroon na sa wakas nang maayos na lalagyan ang aking mga shoes!

***

i will try to update this blog more kesa naman i spend too much time on twitter.

kapag sinipag na ako, gusto ko sanang picture-an ang bawat pair na meron ako at kung natatandaan ko pa ang mga kwento sa sapatos na 'yan. every pair has a story to tell (sabi ko lang 'yan), hehehe

hard work + gratitude

nakalimutan ko na yatang mag-blog, so pasensya na sa mga magbabasa, sabog 'yung thoughts ko. i am very emotional tonight.

usapang pagsasayaw.

napansin ko lang na parang nauuso ang mga batang gusto nila na sa isang iglap andun na sila, made na sila. para bang in one year of continuous dancing expert na agad? or 'yung iba, wala na silang delikadesa na pwede na nilang sagut-sagutin 'yung teacher? ang tanda ko na ba? hahaha kasi parang hindi ko na kilala 'yung psyche ng mga batang ito...

haay. i can't help but remember those years na pupunta ako sa rehearsal hall 1 hour before the real call time kasi magwawalis pa ako, magpupunas ng salamin, maglalampaso ng sahig. kapag sinuwerte ka, uutusan ka pang bumili ng miryenda ng kung sinong senyores na dumating ng maaga.

nostalgia. ang dami ko palang paghihirap back then. pero sa judgement ko naman sa sarili ko ngayon, i am not bitter about it? i am actually proud of myself that i was able to do that. in some strange reason na kahit di naman connected sa pagsasayaw, it made me love dancing even more.

totoo 'yung when you work hard for something, mas maa-appreciate mo 'yung value ng rewards niya. when you get something that easy, madali lang din siyang mawawala.

hindi ko na rin alam! hahaha, i just wish that the new generation of upcoming dancers learn the value of hard work and gratitude.

di ko na kayang pahabain pa itong entry ko, dasal ko lang.

;-)


P.S.

maraming salamat sa lahat ng mga naging seniors ko and especially sa mga teachers ko.
the values na naituro ninyo sa akin, i will always treasure it in my heart. utang na loob ko po sa inyo ang pagsasayaw ko! :-)

Letters Denied / Unsolicited

part one.

i choose to just cancel any future posts about Amnesia Boy. i just don't see any point of writing blog entries about him, just a waste of time i guess?

okay, done!

***

part two.

i am actually writing this blog because i want to rant a lot on twitter and on facebook but i can't. i don't want to rape my followers and friends with my BV posts. so... if you're reading this entry and you find me so negative, it's not my fault. you chose to click the link, and you chose to stay and read.

anyway, pwedeng magtagalog? hmm...

hindi ko na mabilang 'yung maraming beses na nangyari sa akin 'to. someone attends my class...our class, and then befriends me, ganito-ganyan, sasabihin na, "hey, i wanna be part of your crew." ako naman, "okay..." poker face, hindi nagpapakita ng ayaw, hindi rin naman nagpapakita ng excitement.

hindi naman sa ipinagdadamot ko 'yung group, it's just that to be part of our company, hindi lang naman skills at talent ang importante. i am after the character, that's my primary concern. kung babagay ba sa ugali ng group, kung gaano kapursigido 'yung tao.

anyway, i try my best to be nice and reach out. malay ko naman one of them have the potential talaga. i cannot judge. ang hindi ko lang siguro kayang maatim eh, when i am about to invest my time and effort, itong taong tinulungan mo or at least tried to help is boom--wala na, nangabilang-bakod? (i don't know the proper term to use).

of course, anyone has the right to choose his own path. pero naiirita lang ako na how some kids nowadays seem to lack that paninindigan...kung anong sinabi, panindigan mo. hindi naman lahat ng gusto makukuha agad, right? for example, sasabihin mo sa akin na you wanna be part of my crew then next week or tomorrow makikita na lang kita you're part of a different group na agad? labo... sana hindi nagbibitiw ng salita / paasa / talk-shit / sugar-coating. 'yung totoo lang... sabihin mo lang na: "ambisyoso ako, i wanna be part of any group, pwede ba kayo?" i won't take it against you. at least you're being honest. kapag sinabi kong hindi then i see you somewhere else, fine with me talaga. walang samaan ng loob pag ganyan.


***

ow well, papel. baboosh!