Starseed

I have always been curious about life beyond earth and I know deep down that what we as humans are conditioned to know as the truth is far too simple than the grand scheme of the Universe.

I had this very vivid memory from when I was 3 or 4 years old. I knew it happened at that age because we moved to a new home when I was 5 or 6, and this memory happened in our old house.

It's the middle of the night, we were all sleeping in the living room. Everyone is already asleep when I woke up as if someone called me. I was just lying there, staring at the ceiling and wall of the living room when like magic, it dissolved and I was suddenly floating in space.

Looking back, it was not a bad memory. I remember being calm and not afraid. I looked around and I saw millions of stars from afar and there's a big red-orange-yellow planet on my left. Then I "heard" a voice. "Heard" because the voice is not actually talking in a language that I understand but I am pretty sure it was talking to me telepathically. I can understand. 

I already forgot the entire gist of what the voice is saying but all I can remember was, "don't forget" or "remember this." He/she was talking to me as if narrating a story and asking me to not forget. It's of utmost importance that I remember it. Then the voice showed me something. There are floating bodies being transported on an invisible conveyor belt. They are not dead, just sleeping. They were arrranged in two files, lying with their hands on their sides (like Shavasana pose). What they are wearing is an orange-y "costume" that is somehow similar to the time of Genghis Khan. They are being transported to somewhere.

It was so vivid and all I can remember was the voice was asking me to remember or to not forget.

All my life, I have been wanting to remember what was it that I was supposed to not forget. I was afraid to tell this to anyone, even to my parents, out of fear that they won't believe me, think that I'm losing my mind, or just inventing a story. I came to a point that even me, I am questioning myself if it really happened or just a product of my very colorful imagination. But how can a three or four year old invent something like that? 🤔 

Anyway, I am sharing this now not for anyone's approval or validation.

At 35 years old, I quite remember what that voice was asking me to remember or not forget. I thought that remembering is like a normal memory that you can get back in an instant. Remembering is a journey of collecting tiny information, like a baby eating from a spoon, then graduating to bigger and bigger meals. 

Finding the truth, I was obsessed with the Bible until I almost becamea Born Again Christian. Then it was not enough, I almost converted to Islam. Until I became an agnostic to being a negative and hating atheist, I finally had my awakening.

I guess, I wanna share this now after so long because I want to share to whoever reading this that life is so much more than what we are told. Listen to your instincts, don't be afraid to question existing dogmas, and find your truth. You will find it. ❤

Reset: New Home, Learnings, and Awakening

I moved to a new place on the last day of July after four years of living in my previous place. So I opened August living in a new home, new bed, and (some) new furnishings with my two cats. I needed this. It gave me a different perspective and approach to life. It allowed me to feel a "reset" in my life.

July was a heavy month, wasn't it? With all the retrograde energy and the negativities, August was really a breath of fresh air.

Since moving here, I have made it as a daily ritual to meditate at least once a day. One in the morning, after feeding the cats and the plants (before breakfast) and second, before going to sleep (as a day-finisher).

Meditation has given me so much peace of mind and has brought me to many discoveries and learnings. I have realized that 2019 is really my year of Spiritual Awakening. It started in January when I got really sick that for months, I was in denial of all the negativities that I have been carrying. Then something happened around May that made me realize that I was living with "fake positivity."

I had a melt down in May because of too much alcohol. I knew it had to stop. Alcohol is not a solution to feeling lonely. Me plus alcohol are a bad combination, for myself and for the people around me.

Step one for my Awakening was: eliminate Alcoholism.

There are still occasions when I would drink a little (not going to lie here). At least, we have eliminated the need to get wasted and the constant desire to drink every weekend. That's one.

Step two: Fresh Start.

Not everyone can have a luxury of moving from a new place. I was lucky that this changing of home gave me a fresh start where I can leave my accumulated negative energies behind. Not that you can escape negativities if you don't deal with them. I am just saying, it helps to start fresh.

Step three: Meditate. Meditate. Meditate.

Good news: meditation is for free! Anyone can do it. It's not a luxury. It's a necessity that I encourage everyone to start practicing it even for just a few minutes a day. If you are still reading this post, you came here because you wanted to be awakened yourself. This is the nudge you need. Do it. Do it now. Close your eyes, take a deep breath. Focus on the air you inhale and exhale. Meditation is not high science or something only experts can practice. No. It's simply awareness of your being.

Learnings:

1. I have become more patient with people. I still get mad, but unlike before that I am like on an autopilot mode, I am more aware now when I am angry that I can easily snap out of it.
2. Cleaning your home is important. 😂Maintaining the quality of your living space is a reflection of the quality of your mind and of your life. Accumulating dirt is accumulating negative energies. Before, I would let dishes remain unwashed FOR DAYS (yuck, I know) because I am that lazy! Making an effort to clean your space is making an effort to clean your life.
3. I now acknowledge the existence of DIVINITY. Yes. I am still an atheist (I don't believe in the "god" of the religions) BUT, I believe now in spirituality, in a Higher Self, in the Source. This is the most important part of my Awakening. There are still so many things to learn and let go (like fear and anger).
4. Our pets are our companions, guides, and protectors. I am so happy that I chose Midnight (my zen/yin white cat) and Morning (my warrior/protector, energetic black cat). These two really help me feel more love and compassion daily.
5. There are people you don't see or talk to anymore for a reason – they do not match your frequency or your vibration. Yes, most of them are your friends (or even family), but your vibration will dictate who will be in your reality. Do not force it or you will only lower your frequency for them. Respect their journey.

Love and Light.